Gimme my all

Gimme my music
I want to sing
I want to hum
Gimme all i want
I wanna just do it

Gimme my love
I wish to see
From her eyes
N my eyes closed
N i will do not else

Gimme my freedom
Take off my fear
I can do all
N all alone
I just want to be in I

Gimme the sky
I wish to live in
I dont like earth
Its not my place
I no like the color

Gimme my faith
All i needed
To live my own
I dont want 
I want just my own

Gimme my wings
I wanna go flying
Ryt in the sky
I want to croon
I want to fly

Oh you God
Cant you hear
My wish is so lil
All it takes
N so it becomes 

Dreams I live in

Dreams are what I want
Keeps me high n high
Never let's me come down
Never gets me any sorrow

Wanna be owned by my dreams
Dont want them to leave me
I fear the life
Maybe It wasn't for me

In my dreams, I croon
In my dreams, I sing
I do get my love also
Just that it's a dream

So be it
Better to dream than to live
Maybe you don't see my dreams
Maybe i am alone in it

Look into your eyes

I see n I look into your eyes
Pretty are those and I see no else
A look into and I am lost
Looking for what,I no know

Dreams be you on me
As I know no else
And how do I see
My eyes are lost,looking into your eyes

Why He made you
Wish I,its for me and me be only
I can just live,looking at you
May I say,make I see no more

Do I look into you
Maybe a soul lost in the past
Chance be on mine and I saw your eyes
Wishes be kind and I live looking into your eyes

May I confess,I need no more
It was all for you
That I lived and learn
Now that you are,I may just live seeing

when you look into the eyes
They say,its me in love
Change be on me and I want it be true
I may say,over,just let me look into your eyes
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Snake - tales from small town India

It was around 10 pm and Farid heard a noise.As he went out,he saw around 10-12 people walking fast.Farid 1st thought,it was some local fight which had taken place.But as he looked closely,he could hear the neighbourhood Chaiwala Hyder leading the crowd and also keeping 1 snake on a stick and saying,the snake is still alive.Someone in the crowd then suggested,put some ghee on the snake and then burn it to death.This idea had excited Haider and he went to his tea shop and brought some ghee and tried burning the snake.

Farid could see the joy in the eyes of the crowd as they burnt the snake.Suddenly,he could also hear,the snake is a Karate as its black and doesnot have a hood.The name spilled shivers in Farid's mind;he had read,a Karate bite can invite death within 2 hours.Farid felt relieved as the snake,whether Karate or some other one had been killed.

As it was touching 11 pm,Farid's Ammi called him inside.Why you are still outside;Am coming Ammi.Farid was anyways frightened,so did not have his usual hesitation of listening to his mother in getting inside.What if there were more snakes near his house and what if some snakes appears in front of his eyes.

Farid then slept and it was around 5 AM and he could hear a loud noise.Farid could hear the slogans of Har Har Mahadev and Allah o Akbar.Oh no,there are riots or what.Farid left his room and and went to his Ammi's room.Farid's Ammi told him of the Hindu - Muslim riots which have started in the city.

Farid was in a state of disbelief and was probably still in a state of half sleep.Later he was told,riots had happenned for the snake being killed.It was shocking for Farid,as he himself had seen the entire incident.

Farid's Ammi later told Farid that Hyder had been burnt alive.Farid's Ammi informed him as Hyder was going to get Ghee so as to burn the snake,one of Haider's neighbours had warned him,if he burnt the snake,Nag Baba will also destroy him in the same way.The man who warned Hyder was called Shiv and he owned a Halwai shop opposite Hyder's tea stall.

And at 4AM,when Hyder was sleeping on a bench,one man poured petrol on his body and then lit the match stick.Poor Hyder could only cry and later when he was taken to hospital,had only one word,Shiv killed me.

Hyder's death had in turn led to Muslims attacking shops owned by Hindus and vice versa.Riots had started and Farid was still wondering,had people known,the snake was not a Nag,but a Karate,there would have been no riots.

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Clock is not time

Farid was alway inquisitive about time.Although,he never told anyone of it,he secretly doubted,if the day was actually of 24 hours.He had his alarm clock,which he always used to keep fast by 30 mins and of course,as he used to proudly brag, 30 mins faster than the wrist watch of my grand father.Keeping the watch faster was Farid's way of mocking at the very measurement of time and day.

Once,one of  Farid's Mamu called up from London and his Ammi asked,have you finished dinner.Farid was shocked,as it was morning in his town.Farid went to his Ammi and asked,why you are checking,if Mamu has taken dinner or not.To his amazement,his Ammi told him,how watch at London is fast by 4 hours.

These small incidents were creating great doubts in young Farid's mind and he wanted to understand,if time is simply,how you keep you clock or was there something outside the clock in time.

One fine day,when,he was depressingly confused on the status of time,he went to his grandfather and asked,why different people are at different stages in clocks.Before his grandfather could answer,he asked how can time at India be different from the time at London.Now his grandfather could guage,he will have to answer his grandson;He smiled and replied,dear son,its not the poor clock,which changes time across different places.He then informed Farid,time has to do with what position earth is vis a vis sun,in the course of its rotation of sun.Farid genuinely loved the answer,he could finally see an absolute being in earth;the tried,tested and each day seen earth.

However this discovery of time being linked to earth's rotation of sun made Farid more belligerant and he fastened his alarm clock by further 30 mins and was not 1 hour faster than the wrist watch of his grandfather.Farid sensed a pride in doing it,as he could control time and it dint matter to him,if he could not control earth.

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No title...to be continued

Farid wanted to become a fortune teller.Why he wanted to become so,he did not have answer for.Or to say,he could never explain his reasons for becoming a fortune teller.As a child,Farid was an inquisitive one,always eager to know the details.His inquistiveness often bugged others and few at times used to get irritated with his sets of questions.Once,there was a death in his family;his grand father's younger brother had died and Farid's 1st question to his father was,why he died and where,he went after his death.

The efforts of Farid's family in offering superficial answers were hardly of any help.Each time Farid asked a question and he was told some answer or the another.For example,when he asked,how God made Eve from Adam's ribs,his grandmother told him,this was God's ways of doing things and it will have the logic beyond the reasoning of human beings.In this case Farid refused to believe that Eve can be created in such a way and was also of the opinion that,it was 1st Eve,who was created than say Adam.

Farid had his own theories to each event in history.For him,maybe the god did not exist and events happens basis the ability of any stakeholder's ability to reason out the future.Person with better reasoning abilities prevail.Often Farid could enter into heated discussions with his relatives and only reason Farid used to quiten down was,he was not sure of his own logic.To be fair to Farid,winning an argument hardly mattered to him and it was always about increasing his ability to reason.

Farid loved Mazars and often used to spend time at Mazars.He believed in some connection with the dead and for him,the dead were the invisible soul,who could understand truth.As one day,he told his mother,Ammi,till we are alive,its not possible for us to know things,reason - an obvious preoccupation with multi things at one time.Farid believed,it takes a death to get relieved from desires and tensions and one needs death,so as to know the answer for all ultimate questions.

Farid often had great doubts on all aspects,the biggest one of which was time and existence.He often distrusted calendars and believed maybe these were just figments of human being's imaginations.To him,maybe the time did not exist and today,tomorrow and yesterday were just words of token value.He could believe in staticism of time and often said,time does not pass and we just feel the time passes.For him units of time were literary tokens than alignment to any physical science.


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Devil's child

Farid loved rivers.To him,it was the origin of all.He loved its peace.He can't but just adore watching river.More often than not,it was his second home. As a child,his grandmother once told him,God made human beings from soil..Farid never believed it and suspected God must have used water and naturally his grandmother was wrong.

As a child,he was strange.He had an unique ability to remember everything on one go.His parents loved showcasing his ability to all,strangers included.But Farid detested this act of his parents.To him all human beings were the same and so were the ability to remember.

Farid was a also natural in doubting things.Once he was told,he has angels sitting on his shoulder,who write the good and the bad deeds.He doubted it.To him,seeing was believing and he had never seen angels.
For once,he had become a sort of rebel in his family.His unique ability of not believing made him different from others.He wanted to sense everything.It has to be physical or else,it dint exist.

With time,his doubts increased only.Of all his doubts,his parents were worried about his disbelief in God.He once told his father,he wants to see God.His father deeply resented the way his son was growing.He took him to numerous Maulanas,each of them offered his unique conclusion.

However Farid always listened to each word,the Maulanas were telling.He dint believe it but always felt,maybe they were right.Once,he was taken to a nearby town,twhere,1 Maulvi told his father,your son is being implanted words by the devils. While on the way back to home,Farid told his father,"I think,Maulana was right".His father looked at him and was stunned at the words.

For Farid,he was always being told by someone.Even when,he was being showcased for his unique ability to memorise,he had suspected,it was someone else,who was putting words in his mouth.

Soon,Farid started believing in he being the implant of a devil.He could see a purpose in his life.He has to work on behalf of someone.He sensed freedom in it.After all,he alike others doesnt have to think.He just needs to do what he was told to.

With time,he had become quiter and started getting into his own shell.He detested presence of people and always wished for solitude.He wanted to do something,which his master ordered him to.He was worried,presence of others would corrupt his senses.He wanted plain instructions.Do or say this and don't do this or don't say it.He sought his purpose in following.

His father who was growing older often tried to reason it out with him,telling him to mingle with people.He suspected,his solitude will bring further misery to him.For once,he even tried reasoning it out with him.Yet the last argument,he had with his son,discouraged him.Farid has talked about the purpose of devil.Farid mentioned,how the world will know of the good,till they know the bad and for Farid,he was the impersonation of the bad and the devil.

For Farid,the bad was equally important.He often reasoned,the good needs to be measured against the bad.Once he joked with his father,if he was not required,why God made 2 angels sit on shoulders and not one.He then laughed about it

Who am I

Do you doubt if you exist.Asked the frail old lady.I don't know.Boy had not taken a fraction of second to answer.The lady was impressed with his confidence of ignorance.


But for the boy,he never pretended.He never had to.Somehow,he was the chosen child with all things known.His parents used to advise,you must grow up.But not for a once,he found anything wrong in himself.

At times,his questions embarassed him.He for instance believed he might not be a living being.After all,his existence depended upon the sense organs of him or for that matter of others.To him,believing anythng was always a challenge.

Often,he used to say,I have never seen myself.Why should I trust,I exist.For the sake of a man made mirror.I can't believe,he was fair complexioned.

He was full of doubts and doubted all.His grand mother once told him about God and how,he has created all.For once,he had believed her.But with time,he treated her grandmother's words like a sound,which was heard by his ears.

By the time,he had become a teenager,his parents had started getting worried about him.Multiple advices were sought from all corners.Once he heard his uncle saying,he was a punishment for the sins of his ancestors.

The boy liked the answer.He could sense the logic of his being.Soon he got more curious and asked his uncle,what if his ancestors had done good deeds.Uncle was not impressed.

Once in his village,an old lady came.She was revered by all villagers.It was said,she had the unique ability to get answers to all queries on her thumbnail.His parents of worry took him to the lady.
 
The lady had a glance at his face and asked,I was like you.I always doubted my self.However,by the time,I reached puberty,I had developed this unique knack of seeing all things on my thumbnail.I have a question and the moment I look at my nails,I have an answer.


The lady's mystery impressed the boy.He too wanted the thumbnail and asked,can I also have it.God's grace,said the frail old lady.

Sensing,the boy was getting inquisitive about her nails.she asked,do you have any question in your mind.Boy smiled and asked,who I am.

Both the lady and the boy had got the answers.Nails were clearly saying.You are a beautiful boy with correct questions.Just carry on

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Little boy, witch and the None

He said,he dint know.He has never heard of the question,leave aside the answer.For him,it was not he who used to decide and answer for him.
He believed,he was nothing or at best an actor.He need not believe in anything.His role was to tag on to a script.
He was sure,destiny was not his doing.It was created by others or maybe by None.To him,the None was the magical;the most powerful of all.
Once sitting below the sky,the thought came to his head,was sky his None.He looked up and could see the sky being immensely large for his eyes.For a second,he thought,it was None;the magical and the powerful
Soon he started feeling protected with sky around.To him,it was the answer.The none and the magical.Sky will be his consistent company and the omnipresent protector
Once came the rains and with it the mighty clouds.Boy was bewildered.He was afraid,maybe the clouds could kill him.The noise scared him.He had seen death in his family and started fearing the clouds.Maybe the clouds are after him,out to kill him
Disbelief has started creeping in him.Fear that the sky can't protect him from the clouds.He was more worried.He has lost his protector or maybe the protector has lost.
He felt depressed and melancholy.With time ,he developed the habit of talking to himself.He feared others will know of his habit.
He knew of the witches,who were flogged.Their fault being,they used to speak to self in loud.He empathised with them and wondered why do they flog the witches.
Then someone told him,he should share his thoughts with her.He soon told her,he is a witch and feared the villagers will soon kill him
She laughed and said,witches are women and he can't become a witch nor he was at the moment.He has got his answer,he can either be a man or be a witch.Both together was ruled out
He had got his answer,men can't be witches.He was worried,why he was so ready to believe her.He dint have an answer for that
He started meeting her more often.He thought of the girl as the answer.Once she told him,she has been sent by the God to him.He smiled and asked why so.Girl started and said,he should believe him
Although he felt hurt by the answer,he choose not to ask again.He was scared and had some unknown fear.Maybe she was like the food to him.Without it he will find it difficult to survive
He feared losing her.And oneday,she called him and told him,she is going to the faraway town.She was getting married.He smiled and said,he knew.The girl looked at his face and went back.

I dont know if i cry for real

Earth seems to be sleeping


An hour ,silence has a reign

Amidst the beauty

I want to say a thing

Say no be in words,but in tears



I have a cry to make

Am sure of your protect

Say no be I trust my tears

But why do I say

Maybe you want me the way



I don't wanna be the little boy

Who took the stillness of the night

Am so happy with peace

Even,Say no be enough for me

Take my pray and just content me





Hah I don't know,if I cry for real

Or its to make the I of me

It takes a still night

To get the I from me

My cries are not mine

You told me to just be in love

So am I,I won't cry

The Lonely Animal

The lonely animal


He never saw the behind

To a herd he belonged

Yet he never saw anyone

To he,it was he

Only and only



At times,he used to see

his own face

he used to doubt

If it were he or the another

mirrors,he dint believe into



he thought

Who made him and why he is lonely

But then he doubted his own self

Did he exist

Or is he just a thought



He reckoned

Maybe he was just energy

And not a being

Reconciled he was

Alone he was
But no more did it matter




He was not anything

He was for else

He has to do of his askings

No more was he lonely

The animal ceased to exist

He was no more he

I want to be I

Was it me

Heart and the body

Now Lost in colors and in shapes

Changed in colors

Wish to go back

In time and in era

I want to be I
Not to be you
Help me - wish me

I want to be I

To you ,I owe not

To I,owe my all

Let me do I need to

Want to say

Again and again

I want to be I

I Don't ask you

For the riches and the beings

I just wanna and dream

Help me wish me

Learnt from you

the way to live

Know,am ungrateful

But I want bliss

And not knowledge

I pray for my dreams;

My own dreams ofI want to be I

I want my innocence

I want my cheers

I want to love I

Beg you let me

I want to be I

I want to cry

I want to laugh

I want to walk

I want to croon

Bind me not

My dream remains:I want to be i

Croon in silence

Wanna croon in silence

Dont wish you to hear.

Need the river, the mountain and the tree

to speak to me; in silence

to whisper to me in ; in love and in affection

You read my silence/You read my croonings

Not in words; in my sighs and in gestures

Wanna whisper to you, but not in words